On What to do With the Orc Children?!

For the edification of all players throughout time everywhere, I have written the definitive alignment document on what to do when you find the children of evil humanoids. Simply find your alignment on the following chart and follow the directions when you find evil non-combatants.

What to do with the Orc Children?
Lawful Good: Kill Them!
Neutral Good: *Hangs head*, kill them!
Chaotic Good: Kill them!
Chaotic Neutral: Uh, maybe we shou-nahh Kill 'em!
True Neutral: Look at what you did to my garden! DIE!
Lawful Neutral: Eliminate them!
Lawful Evil: ENSLAVE THEM!
Neutral Evil: Run free to die in the wild!
Chaotic Evil: KILL THEM!

 Go shake your head here.